Thursday, January 17, 2013

Cardigan Time! or...Don't Arm the PE Teacher!!!!

And here it is...finally...the unveiling of a yarn project that has taken over a year to complete. 

How's about a little smoochy, baby? I love babies, yarn, pink, and suburbia!!!!!!

  The Cardigan Style No. 4335-71.  It was a simple man's design from my mom's old collection:

"And what's more sporty than hair gel, nordic patterns and a great dye job?" 
 Couple it with some of the high-kitsch Knit-O-Graf patterns that I've gathered from Mom's old knitting basket and I have finally arrived. Viewer be warned, in these politically charged times, there is a gun in the pocket of the cardigan.  I know that it's really not at all funny, but hell, I put the gun in there over a year ago, because I was so fascinated with the 1950's era design of cute little animals for girls winter wear, and, of course, guns and the like for little boys.  LF, you'll have to insert your own polemics,  I just don't know what to think anymore, really.
Boy: gun, plaid, dog. Girl: kitten, chick, plaid.

Here I am a year ago when I put the gun on a helmet-cover.

And back to yarn detail. On the shoulder we have: chicks, on the hip: kitten, left front: plaid and of course, right pocket: gun.  The work involved in this endeavor has been tedious, at the minimum, but now I can reap the rewards and enjoy a snuggly, non-itchy cardigan for years and years to come (alpaca, wool, silk).  plaid was a lot of fun, because it requires knitting stripes, then meticulously stitching the vertical stripes into a line of purl.  Not an unwieldy job, just long.  Finally finished, and probably never again.

Gun poking out of pocket, the thing curves in a fashion so it would never shoot straight.
 When I turned the pattern on it's side to put the gun in a pocket instead of hat, I made a miscalculation on the gauge of the thing.  For this reason, the gun sort of curves in an unlikely shape. The surreal shape is delightful, sort of a mocking of the idea that the sorts of people who become teachers might also be the sort of people who become gun-carrying-officers of order.

Now where'd I put my whistle!?!?
That said, anybody who has spent a significant amount of time on the grounds of a school might agree that it's the Physical Education Teacher that is most likely to offer to carry a gun.
Are you talkin' to me??

 But then, the overall theme of the cardigan is what it should be.  Sweet little mother knits sweet little sweater to wear while working at sweet little school. What could be wrong with such a thing?