Friday, February 15, 2013

What's next, after the motivation is gone?

So whither the goddess yarn artist within me?  Today, I'm trying to pack for a weekend away with family and friends.  Needless to say, this is an occasion for glorious yarn arts.  While throwing some running clothes and flannel shirts into my overnight bag, I start to mull over what crochet or knit project I'll bring along.  All I can think, unfortunately, is yuck, yuck, yuck.  All of my active projects are feeling roughshod, failed, or just not worth the effort.  I'm looking at a pile of yarn that cost a bundle, I've already thrown a lot of sweat equity this way, and I can't bear the results.  Ugh.
This is what I've got it narrowed down to: Shall I bring my partially finished chick-motif mitten?  Not really, since I'm realizing that my yarn work on the pattern is too tight and slightly off-center.

That's so cute! Will it fit?

 OK, then how about the granny square remnant that I'm converting into a skirt or dress or cape?  Well, since the weight of yarn is hideously light (picture: old school crochet) and I can't really figure out what part of my body this object will adorn, I'm stuck.


table runner? blanket? dress? who knows?

And, perhaps, what about this pink-mesh thing that was supposed to be a snug tank but now it's feeling looser and looser as it works up and the stitch is just plain boring? Yuck, sick of this, and the hot pink attracts too many comments as I plod along.

Oh, my. Nice color!


But there's more! How about the granny square skirt that I've  been slowly working up for the better part of a year?  I harbor no major objections to this project, but after a few nicely designed squares, I feel like it's all filler, now, and I'm not inspired to build onto it, plus, I'm afraid that I don't have enough yarn to make the skirt long enough to wear.

Looks cute to me, can't you just finish it?

And finally, a  beautiful set of soy silk yarn, recently purchased for a truly fabulous Star Trek style dress designed by her highness, Doris Chan.  But alas, reading this pattern has proved elusive for me up until now.  I can't wrap my head around the thing, and it's driving me nuts.  Any communal time while I sit in the corner arguing with a magazine page is simply not pretty.  It also kills my image as a fiber arts goddess myself.
This ol' thing? What's so tough about it?
So there I have it. The equivalent of major craft-blockage.  I don't know what I want to work on, and even more daunting, maybe I don't even want to be working on yarn this weekend.  So, I'll take a deep breath, grab two books, a camera, and maybe even a journal.  Toss in a crossword puzzle book and I'm golden.  Next installment, I might even share the not-so-secret truth that my motivation at training has tanked this season.  Few workouts, lots of sleep, and missed registration deadlines.  A new me?  Quite possibly, but I'll take it easy, follow the energy and see what emerges. After all, this is supposed to be fun, right?

Friday, February 1, 2013

If it isn't attached, it's outta here! Purge Time!!!

Oh, goddesses of the blogs...deliver me from my own purgative cleaning of the house to give words and pictures to some of this joy.  I'm in the middle of that fantabulous New Year ritual of trying to get rid of everything in the house that isn't nailed, stapled, glued or sewed on.  Good luck, you say? Well, sure, it's a tall task, but when it's sunny outside and bitter, bitter, cold, what's a gal to do but load up on highly caffeinated beverages and sift through every piece of arcana that she can lay her eyes on.  Closets, drawers, cabinets, basements, cupboards, fridges, floors, bathrooms, bedrooms, it's all fair game.  If we don't use it anymore and the emotional significance can be touched by another similar object (OK, don't touch the Barbie Camper!), it's on the short list for outta here! Enough is enough, and every single visit to my dear Mother, in her completely ordered universe, automatically provokes a cleaning/purging excursion upon my return to this place.  Halfway through day two and I can see the light...if only the adolescent lets me into her room I'll be really happy.

But it's lunchtime and I'm hungry!!! I swam about  7 hours ago and it's time to stop the insanity.  Cook up some brown rice soaked in a chicken broth that I made the other day, plus fried greens, I'm happy as a Camper!  I take a moment to channel my Dad, who, on some afternoons back in the day, on a day when he was home, working around the yard, usually.  He'd take a beer out and drink it with lunch.

And then she sat down and ate lunch, alone & in the sunshine!

Sometimes, into retirement, Mom would harumph or grumble or something if he did this.  That memory made me laugh today, like, my Dad had my silly mother judging when he might have a beer with a meal.  I feel that I have the judgement of the whole culture upon me... "It's a Friday at 2:00 beer?"  Oh, hell, of course!  Hearty meal plus beer/wine equals complete feast.  So I popped open a Sierra Nevada and enjoyed the first alone weekday in my home that I've experienced in a long long time.

Unencumbered, Indeed!


But actually, I didn't even sit down! I stood at the dining room table and rifled through more files, papers, photos, cards.  I even found a few gift cards for Ashby that amounted to nearly fifty bucks!!!! Are we really those people? We don't have time to count our money, we just collect things and lose them...arg!!!!

Something that Jack Steward would Never have done.  Here's another thing he would not have done: beer instead of wine at lunch.  He would always drink a glass of wine if we opened a bottle for dinner, but lunchtime, and evening, beer all the way.  He wasn't so sure about our fancy brews, but he basically approved.  Mom, on the other hand, was always a martini and cocktail lady.  She told me the story of her first meeting with the Stewards.  They went on a picnic (of course), and, according to Mom, it was required that she drink beer.  Never a beer drinker (then or now) her detailing of this outing tells the hidden tale of an incredibly earnest, respectful woman.  As Mom got older, we didn't always see these sorts of outward approvals of Dad's (or his family's) ways, but it was always there.  Firm, stable, loyal, loving, a model of companionship that carries me forward in this bumpy road that is relational life.

So there we have it!  A great day. Rejuvenated, energized, sunny.  Lucky, awake, and eager for more.