"Mom, I think you should do Ironman first. Really, you've been working for this all year long."

Here it is! The day I wait for,  practically all year.  Today I load the car and head up to Madison, Wisconsin to participate in Ironman.  As I pore over the dining room full of clothes and gear, I wonder how I got here, and if "here" is indeed where I want to be, and what have I done for the past twelve months, if anything, to get ready for this adventurous feat? As a seasoned Ironman athlete, it might seem that I should have this in the bag, but sometimes I wonder the opposite.  As the years tick by, am I  becoming more careless?  Am I tempting my own fate to attempt this endeavor again and again?  Who knows?  But here I go again, and on the bright side, I'm healthy, fit, injury-free, and for cry in' out loud, I'm forty five years old and still taking part in Ironman, a game that I've been playing since I was in my late twenties!  I'm proud of myself, dammit! So here, a year in pictures, as a reminder to the length of the journey, which really is a lifelong one.  A journey, in my case, of self-discovery, challenge, fun, whimsy, passion, even creativity, rolled up into one self-indulgent event that sparks the imagination and drive in many a person.  Once again I pony up to the start line, thankful for my friends and family. Thank the universe for my own idyllic childhood in Eugene where I could swim in clean water, breath clean air, and ride unencumbered and learn the joy and challenge of two-wheel transport. 

Ironman Wisconsin finish line 2011.  I LOVE YOU KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JULIE & MARY training buddies and terrific friends, mid-winter. You push me, you inspire me.  Mad leftist powerful women fighting the good fight.

another lonely run on a dark chicago March winter day. Alone, I must deliver my own joy and beauty.

Wa-Laaaa!!! try this, make it beautiful!!! Make the planet beautiful!!!!

and I can still jump! I love crochet skirts!!!

Have socks, have cycling shorts, have bowling jacket.  Check. Ready. Go.

OK Y'all.  What's up with the yarn?

I dedicate my 2012 Ironman journey to Dad. You're strong you're powerful. We're ready to let you go, but not before shedding a bucket full of tears.  Does this mean that I'm the grown-up now???? Holy shit, yes. Grow up!!!!

My crazy badass radical training buddy. you abandoned me for the Castro, but one day you'll come to your senses and move to the East Bay. For now, keep the calls and FB posts coming. I Love & miss you, friend.

Peter says he loves bringing the kids to boring ol' Ironman. i can't imagine why, but they come, year in and year out.  I LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!!!

Peter says: "I wanna brag on my wife." Glory be. He's been cheering me on since 1992.  I love you Man.  And, like the song says: "It's time to get a gun. That's what I'm thinking.  I could afford one...If I did just a little less drinking." -Fred Eaglesmith.

And so it went! Another year again.  The event becomes a marking place, a memory of what was happening around us.  This year will be a doozy.  After a delightful year of celebration and good health, our family is getting ready to say goodbye to dear Dad.  I have no idea how many tears one might shed during or after or even before an Ironman, but if I ever paid six hundred bucks to cry all day, I'd rather do this than say, a twelve hour therapy session or even more challenging, a silent meditation retreat.  Dad, I'll be with you all day long, whatever that means.  Even better, I'll be with you on Tuesday, and to that, I'm truly looking forward to.  This was a weighty decision, one that I don't want to regret.  When I asked Addie should I go ahead with Ironman or rush out to Oregon, she was thoughtful and kind; "Mom, I think you should do Ironman first.  Really, you've been working for this all year long."  Man. I love that kid. I love that kid.